Baby steps

The applications are in...now we just wait to see if the boys are accepted (space-provided).

Well, we still haven't sent in our applications for the International School; they're all completed. We just to add copies of passports, and my scanner has been on the fritz for about a year. So we need to do that and then we can get those sent in. That will relieve a lot of anxiety on my part, provided they get accepted. If they don't, well, that will greatly increase my anxiety I suppose! Yep, gotta get them in.

I started taking an online class to get a certificate to Teach English as a Foreign Language. I'm hoping for at least one of the following to happen: that I'll get a job at the International School (half the tuition, half the SOS International Clinic membership, plus pool privileges!); that I'll start a voluntary English class for the China RSC employees; and that I'll be able to teach Ling Ling how to speak English, and any other friends who have helped us and who need help learning. I go at my own pace for this class, and I'm pretty excited about it.

It's strange making new friends, knowing we'll only be here for another six months. It's almost like I don't want to invest the time I should because I know I won't be able to maintain all my friendships once we leave. It's almost like the "spongeworthy" Seinfeld episode...is this person timeworthy? I think I'm also more negative than usual about everything just because Tim has been gone all this week, will be somewhere else next week, and leaves for China the week after that. I'm getting used to doing all the parenting and housekeeping stuff, but it gets really old. I miss that extra person. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm lucky. I've had the "extra person" talk with divorced and widowed friends, and friends with husbands in Iraq. I know I'm blessed as can be because he's home most weekends (except the China ones); he's the breadwinner; we can talk on the phone; and I still have my best friend as my best friend, in this world. OK, I feel better already. Really, I am so lucky. Truly, how could I possibly be more blessed? I'm just fine. : )

Don't Worry About A Thing...cause every little thing's...

gonna be alright...

OK, I'm getting used to the idea that this is really going to happen and I'm ready to get ready. Already have cleaned out the closets and gotten RID of stuff, and I've come to terms with selling the house. The big breakthrough came last night talking with DH about the fact that I have in the past given up income to raise our kids because I trust him (very scary for me!) and now I'm giving up pretty much everything I am and have outside of our little nuclear family to move AROUND THE WORLD with him. Serious trust. Just verbalizing that and putting it out there seems to have made a big difference in how I'm viewing this move. Strange but good. I'm ready to support the kids and give them the reassurance they need, to be the grown-up, I guess.

We're getting the schools apps in this week - a thousand dollars, just to APPLY - that's quite a commitment. One that I'm ready to make. I feel like that PBS ad "I'm Ready!" Lots to do yet, but I think we'll be okay.

Now, just worries about the stability of the economy and sociopolitical situation in China. Bigger worries that I can really wrap my mind around right now, so I'm going to just trust. There's that word again...

What to bring...

I am starting to look around my kitchen and wonder what I'll be needing in Shenzhen. For instance, do we bring the coffeemaker? The only coffee we got when we visited was instant...do they SELL coffee? Do I bring my springform pan...do they sell cream cheese? What about cake pans...I make very cool character cakes and birthday cakes. But do they sell cake mixes? I've been told that few people have actual ovens there. Mostly they have a cooktop and a rice steamer to prepare food. What about our dishes, baking tools, etc.? Would it be easier to just buy stuff there? All kinds of little things to find out, I guess. Pots, pans, baking pans...I think the kitchen will be hardest to pack since that is the thing that will be the most different (and probably the most missed room, in my case!) And my big, beautiful mixer - will there be any use for it? Any SPACE for it? I use my mixer often for cookies, cakes, cheesecakes, icing, even pancakes sometimes. Speaking of pancakes, what about my griddle? Probably not...no need to stress out the electricity. But I WILL bring my griddle pan so I can make the kids pancakes sometimes. The food is really going to be a challenge, I think!

I'm hoping we can bring the kids' beds and dressers. We are thinking it will provide them with some continuity that this is now "home" and their stuff is still here and they can still sleep in their beds. We'd LOVE to bring our bed, too, but it's a king size and space is really at a premium in China. Probably wouldn't fit.

Both boys have asked if we can still live in our house when we get back; this is making me SAD because it seems so important to them right now. But, we think it would be WAY less hassle to just sell it and store whatever we don't take along or get rid of. I know we won't be the same when we return - we will probably be content with less space and less yard. So, I suppose we'll be sprucing it up to sell in the next few months.

Six more months...

The Kids

Tonight we asked Alex how he feels about moving to China. He said right away he will really miss his friends. I had a hard time not tearing up at that, and told him right away that I would really miss my friends, too. Then he said he would also miss his TV channels (when we visited, they didn't have Disney's JETIX in Hong Kong or China that we could find). But he also said that it will be okay because they do have Cartoon Network there. Then he said it's cool that he already has two friends there, and he's pretty happy about that.

Andrew told his preschool teacher on Tuesday that we're moving to China. She asked the director (a good friend) about this and she confirmed it for her. Now people are really starting to find out about our move. What a relief!!! It's been so hard not being able to talk freely about this - we've known since the first week of June.

I think it will be easiest on Ella - she is so young and so adaptable and social and happy. But coming back here will be the hardest on her, probably, because her real memories will start there.

It will be hard on Tim because he's going to have a very different job - not a lot of structure or clear direction at first. We will all miss our friends dearly, especially our family nearby and far away. I'm going to miss my kitchen and my bed and my washer and dryer. And my friends and my church and my kids' preschool. And my parents. A bunch. And English books and magazines and newspapers and labels on stuff we buy. And my car. And American cuisine, Italian cuisine and Mexican cuisine.

But we will come back, and we will be forever changed by this experience.

More wonderings...very little action

We really need to get those school apps in for the boys; what if they don't get accepted?? Then what? Do I stay with the kids to finish out the school year? Home-school them??? (not) What? Can they get accepted for next year? Right now we're waiting for final numbers for our relo package from Tim's job. Since he'll be the first ex-pat for that company, they have to write policies before we get numbers, which is taking a LONG time. Once we get the numbers, some answers will fall into place; we can get the kids applied for school (it costs $1000 to APPLY to this school, and we are waiting so they can cover that cost); we can figure out what to do with the house.

I need to keep reminding myself that I will be the main one responsible for a smooth and relatively trauma-free relocation for the kids. Tim will be getting into a new job and will have a network in place already. The kids will be excited about meeting new people and their new school. I will be concentrating on how to provide continuity, peace, reassurance and normalcy to the life of our family. I guess that 's the ultimate "mom" responsibility and I'm okay with that. I just hope I do okay. Keeping the kids as my top priority will help me stay focused on the positive. My friend who lost her husband almost a year ago to a car accident has become a true expert on finding silver linings. As the anniversary of her husband's death approaches, her response is "at least it's the only first anniversary of this we'll have to deal with. At least there's only one." She stops me in my tracks every time she speaks of her loss. She is a person to learn selflessness and coping from.

Prelim Wonderings

So, I've decided to start a blog about our family's preparation and eventual move to Shenzhen, China, on the other side of the world. It's overwhelming - I don't necessarily do well with overwhelming. I am simultaneously terrified and thrilled. I keep a mission statement in mind - one must step outside of one's comfort zone in order to grow. And growth is good. I think we will all grow in unimaginable (for now) ways from this move. Not to mention new friends from all over the world and a whole new view of the world. Strip away the unnecessary and see what remains...

Right now we're trying to decide whether to keep the house and rent it or let a friend live here as caretaker, or just sell it and not have property here. Or, do we keep the rental house further downtown (which is much smaller) as income property so we will still own U.S. property (I don't know why that's important to me, but it is for some reason). I'm not sure how I feel about someone renting our house - being a germophobe and all (HA! In China where we can't drink tap water...) and being clear on the other side of the world. I'm not sure how I feel about paying a mortgage for up to 5 years just to keep this particular house (I do love this house, and so do the kids).

All kinds of things to decide...we have set a deadline to actually MAKE a decision so we can move on to bigger things - like what and how we will move everything, store everything else, and what to give away. We need to get the kids' school apps in and find an apartment to move into until we find something more permanent. We need to get shots, I think. Ick. We all need to see docs and dentists for checkups. We need to obtain SOS International Health Care policy. And I thinkg we oughta know a bit of Mandarin, just for kicks. Yikes.